no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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