Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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