I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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