isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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