You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
