lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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