therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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