I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Do vagina's smell?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
