apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
