you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
