You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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