i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
