Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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