Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize