i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
