Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
