We're like a lot better than the average bears
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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