Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
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Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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