I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
