I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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