There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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