Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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