There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
