sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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