dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
