I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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