is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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