I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
