i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize