I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
