My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
