Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
