white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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