the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
