Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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