I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize