Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
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Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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