I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
