Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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