Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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