I'm eating all of the evidence.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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