We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
