Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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