I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
