I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The power of my boobs compel you
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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