that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize