her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
