let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
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