i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
