Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
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