I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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