u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
