Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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