U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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