I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
