tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
How does one acquire holy water?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
did i just pee glitter
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
