I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
