the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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