I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
