There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
