Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
