I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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