I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
