I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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