All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Do vagina's smell?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
