I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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