Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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