dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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