You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Randomize
