if you like me you must not know who I am
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
